Saturday, September 13, 2014

it's been too long

I have thought about blogging a lot lately. I have been in a funk for no apparent reason. But today is a new day, one we are lucky to live, so today I am blogging.

1 month and 15 days ago we left Utah, where we had lived together for 3 years and separately for almost 9! Although Utah never felt like home to Ian or myself it was the place where we created our life together and where we had raised the girls together. At the end of June, I was offered a position within my company to transition into the Sales Organization which would relocate us to Washington. I was so unbelievably happy! Ian was so thrilled he was ready to leave the next day, as was Kylie, Emma was pretty unhappy with me. She was in Arizona at the time with her Dad and as we would have all been at age 10- she was upset that she was going to leave her friends without so much as a goodbye. I empathized with her, my parents moved me from PA to AZ on my 10th bday but in the end it was for the best. Life is a series of choices (I tell my children this daily) and leaving Utah was a choice we were making.

The trip to our new home was one of the most eventful things that has ever happened to me. I was not prepared when I left my home in Utah for what I was going to experience. On the evening on day 1 we were 10 miles outside of Boise when the sign on the freeway said, "Brush fire, low visibility". To me that meant there would be a little debris in the air, some smoke. I - WAS- WRONG! We drove on and at first in the distance you could see flames but they were at least a mile away, as we moved closer you could see flames that looked like they were on the other side of a hill, well it turns out that "hill" was a wind in the road and before there was anything I could do about it, there were flames on both sides of the road and we were driving through it. I turned to see Kylie screaming, "I'm going to die". As a mother you NEVER want to be responsible for making your child feel unsafe, I calmly told her to close her eyes and sing as loud as she could. Thankfully, for one of the only times in her entire life - she did exactly what I asked her to. I could feel the heat from the flames through the car, I kept telling myself you have to keep going the car is fueled by gas if you stop it is game over. Two seconds later I hit a wall of smoke that I couldn't see through. I wanted to stop but I was following Ian and his Dad was following me, I knew if I stopped I would cause an accident. I threw on the hazard lights and kept going. Maybe 100 more feet and we broke the smoke barrier. We had to exit at the next chance because at that moment the freeway was shut down, both directions. We were the last cars that went through. When we pulled off everyone jumped out of their cars and ran to us where I must have been in some kind of shock because the only thing I could mutter when Ian said how proud of me he was (I had pretty severe driving anxiety before), was to say, "I just kept going". The 10 miles it should have taken turned into 2 hours as we detoured through an active military firing range (closed for the night). Needless to say Boise and I are not as tight as we once were. But the best part of what happened was that we were all safe, closer as a family and my driving anxiety is gone, totally gone.

Now we are in our beautiful new house which is 2 times bigger than our Utah house and we love it! The kids are thriving, Ian has a new job and is figuring out school and it is time for me to refocus on myself a little bit. Today, I started a new Whole30, I'm getting back into fitness and I'm determined to create some new - no work related - friendships. Live is a journey, and today I am starting down a new road.

I am also excited to announce that we picked a wedding day! We will begin our married life together, August 22, 2015! www.weddingwire.com/ianda

That is all for now - A

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